Making Friends on the Road: A Teen's Perspective

Seriously though, it is the most asked question I get. From both extended family and complete strangers alike:

How do you make friends on the road? Are you able to keep up with friends you make? How are you going to learn social skills for the real world?

etc, etc.

It's almost like people think that I live under a rock or something. (I know they have good intentions though)

So to answer the question once and for all: I have learned more people skills and made more meaningful relationships than I ever did living in a house and going to school.

Shocking? Let me explain:

When we go to school as children we are surrounded by people of the same age, the same background, and likely the same religious and political values. While schools now are more diverse than ever, this is still heavily the case.

This does not reflect the real world. This is a bubble. In the real world everyone around you is very different from you, whether at work or in public. Kids are not really taught how to interact with vastly different kinds of people. Of course, there are exceptions, but typically the number is limited.

Also, when you go to school you interact with the same people every single day, very rarely are there opportunities to branch out and meet anyone new. You just hang out with one group of friends for a while, and then move to the next when necessary. There's no shortage of people to hang out with.

To put it simply, in "normal" life, friendship is not as quality as it is quantity. It is not as treasured because it is easily obtained.

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Living on the road changes everything about friendship. Both in good ways and not-so-good ways.

The most obvious change is that you are no longer surrounded by your friends all day long. Even if you were homeschooled, you likely saw friends pretty often.

When you first get on the road, this is a difficult obstacle to overcome. Lonliness. Your friends back home are still living their normal lives, but yours has changed drastically. Likely, none of your old friends will understand what that feels like either.

As time goes by, the longer you're in the road, the gap between you and your old life becomes bigger and bigger, and this tends to happen with your friends too. Which is really, really difficult sometimes.

It can be hard to let go of our old lives. It can be hard to watch our old friends drift away. So what's the solution?

In order to make friends on the road, step one is changing our definition of friendship.

Instead of friends being all the same age, gender, and background, being on the road allows us to diversify.

We also have to be okay with the fact that most of these friendships aren't going to be "forever friends". This was hard for me.

Sometimes a "friend" is just someone you meet at the campground and hang out with for a few days.

Sometimes a "friend" is the nice stranger you met on the street.

Sometimes a "friend" is the family you met while boondocking and shared stories with around the fire.

And then sometimes a "friend" is someone you meet at a FTF rally and you really hit it off, so you keep in touch and maybe your families even travel together. I've seen this many times.

Basically, when we hit the road we have to become more flexible. I have friends who I never would have imagined I'd meet back at home, but I love them and am so glad for the time we get to spend together.

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What also happens when we hit the road, is that we realize how precious time with friends really is. We make the most of what we get because we know that we may not see them again for a long time.

Would you rather have a friend you see everyday, but don't really interact with on a deeper level, or a friend you see once a year whose visit is fun, deeply meaningful, and impactful?

Besides, we are greatly blessed in this world. No longer does long-distance look like waiting a month for a letter to arrive. We are able to keep up with our friends via technology! It's not like we take expeditions into the wilderness and never talk to another soul for months.

Because we realize that friendship is a treasure, my friends and I know that we have to prioritize our time together, which means scheduling calls and talking about more than the weather.

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While for some it may be difficult to not be around people all the time, I have found it to be a true blessing in my life.

Mainly because I have been able to do a lot of self-reflection and development. Because I'm not around friends all the time, I have the time to work on myself to become a better friend. This comes back to realizing what a treasure friendship really is.

It's also been a blessing because I've learned how to interact with a lot of different kinds of people, not just teenagers. I've learned to diversify.

I've learned to rely on God and my family for friendship too. You never expect to become best friends with your sibling until you're forced to share a 10x10 room together 😂

Most of all, I've learned that I have to be brave. There are infinite people I can befriend out there, but I must let go of any fears I have, and just go introduce myself!

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What has your experience with friends on the road been? Have you grown from the experience?